What is loneliness and 3 steps to overcome it
When I feel lonely what exactly happens to me? What is loneliness?
Loneliness is a symptom of a deeper condition where I have lost some touch with myself. Very often this results in me not knowing that I feel lonely, or not realizing the amount of loneliness (disconnection from self and others) that I feel.
Loneliness (as opposed to loneliness, which is sought after) is an emotion caused by a sense of lack, and by an unfulfilled need to achieve a sense of completeness through the presence of others.
This need is insatiable as it is a symptom, the essence and cause of which stems from contact with the self (and therefore from the inability to relate to others), and from the difficulty of being present to the individual in the here and now.
This lack, which in turn is a symptom of an even deeper cause, is more extensive than meets the eye, stemming from a sense of separation, a lack of belonging. But to belong, I first need to be whole, and to be whole, I need to connect with myself, embrace and integrate all of my “pieces”, i.e. heal any wounds and traumas through which I experienced separation .
The first step is to begin to understand myself.
The first step is to begin to understand myself.
Inside me I may discover a hidden Goddess or a hidden God… The feeling of loneliness is a symptom that comes from a deeper level of dissatisfaction, and one way to deal with it is to start in different ways (that suit me depending on my character and personality) to understand myself. Some examples are to start writing a journal of all my feelings and thoughts every day. A famous practice followed by many writers and non-writers for self-awareness is to free-write for an hour every morning, writing whatever comes to mind, leaving yourself free to express yourself exactly as you wish. According to this practice, due to inner liberation, creativity opens up and ideas flow unhindered in mind and heart. Another easy and simple practice for self-awareness is self-observation (meditation).
Many associate meditation with yogis in the Himalayas, and a series of hardships and deprivations. Quite the opposite actually happens as self-observation allows the mind and heart to communicate better, naturally bringing an inner balance and harmony. There are so many techniques and ways to start meditating and now with so much information circulating on the internet you have the opportunity to try different videos or talks on the internet and experiment until you find what suits you at the given moment. Still other ideas on self-awareness are to do any form of art, to practice some sport and of course the search for a therapist either in the form of psychotherapy or with some energy therapy or through a traditional method such as Chinese medicine (acupuncture, herbs, etc.) or Ayurveda etc.
The second step is to find and start doing activities that give me joy.
The second step is to find and start doing activities that give me joy.
Community and a sense of belonging are very important elements for a healthy relationship with yourself. Following the examples above, you can prepare a list of activities that you already know bring you joy. That is, write from memory what you remember that made you happy in your life so far. The second part of this list is to write down what you think you would like to do if you were learning something new (for example a new musical instrument) or if you were trying something for the first time (for example skydiving, white water rafting or going on a hike in Mountain). Finally, by making these lists and feeling what uplifts you (for example, a visit to a museum, getting a dog or cat, going to the theater or a concert) and gives you joy and pleasure, you will discover that you share more in common with people with the same interests, leading to new friendships and new discoveries. Joy, laughter, smiles, enthusiasm and uplifting are always signs that something you are doing is right, that is, you are in the right place, with the right person and doing what you really want!
The third step is to start a daily spiritual practice.
The third step is to start a daily spiritual practice.
Spiritual practice is not necessarily religious, without excluding religion, all religions have a common source and origin. As we said above… meditation, but also any spiritual practice (prayer, reading sacred texts, active visualization with light, introspection, stillness of mind, silent walking, etc.) on a daily basis opens new horizons in mind and heart and reconnects you with a wider and wider reality, that of spirit. In this new era, where everything is changing very quickly, the relationship with the divine spark within you will guide you through the difficult time of instability and insecurity. Gradually, and as you go along the path in your own way, you realize that you are never alone, and that solitude has unique benefits, just as connecting with others is very important and beneficial. It is important to balance, harmonize and achieve an inner healthy and continuous relationship with the Divine, the self and therefore, with others. Others mirror the first two relationships and thus offer us unique lessons to bridge the gap of separation and rejoin the wholeness that we already are…
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