Who is the inner judge and ways to reconcile with it…
Have you ever heard yourself addressing you with phrases like “it’s your fault”, “you screwed up again”, “you’ll never make it” etc.? It’s a voice of disapproval, familiar enough to everyone, whether we’ve done work on ourselves (psychotherapy, energy healing, meditation, self-awareness, etc.) or not.
Too often you respond to the inner judge as if it is right, or as if it has some form of authority or power over your will and self-belief. But the relationship with this voice of disapproval is a mistake. There really is no internal judge.
Who is the internal judge?
Who is the internal judge?
The voice of disapproval and criticism is about a part of you that needs attention. He wants to unite with you so that you can become one again, but for that to happen you must recognize where the separation happened. That’s why it’s important to notice when it appears and thus focus on what brings it to the surface in order to treat it. That way, whenever the voice of shame or fear or inadequacy comes up, it’s an opportunity to remind it how much you love it.
You can bring your hands to your heart, take a deep breath and tell that part of you that you are there for this, you are present, you care and you want to reconcile, to become one again. So any time you feel a twinge of shame or anxiety, this is an internal reaction to a sensation that reminds you of an event from the past that has not yet been dealt with, clarified, or resolved. But it’s never too late!
Ways to make peace with the inner judge
Ways to make peace with the inner judge
Self-love conquers all. When I love myself, I allow myself to be vulnerable, imperfect, make mistakes, and not know everything. Even better, the more I love myself, the more I understand that mistakes are a blessing and that everything that happens in my life is exactly what I need, because through mistakes I learn, it is part of my education to try and fail .
As long as I allow myself to try, to do all that I fear but desire in my soul to do, then success will be something that will not matter, and the inner judge, the part of me that is in separation, will gets smaller.
Non-recognition / Non-reaction
Non-recognition / Non-reaction
Another way to manage a crisis of inner conflict where the inner judge is raging is to not energize it. That is, not to give it importance, attention and more time and value than it needs (that is, not at all). In Buddhist meditation the first thing one is taught is non-reaction to either pleasure or pain. This non-reaction is not done in order not to feel anything, but not to get lost in it, going beyond pain and pleasure.
Beyond pain and pleasure lies the recognition, the truth, the inner richness of my true self. The goal in meditation is attunement, harmony, balance, and living a life with deep stability of awareness. In order not to react to an outburst of the inner judge another tool is breathing.
Breathing
Breathing
The breath is a gateway through which we pass to the emotions stored in the body. Breath connects the body with the spirit, it is a wave that constantly rises and falls between heaven and earth. When the inner judge, like an unsatisfied child, repeats like a mantra his attachment to an outcome, then take some deep, long, belly breaths.
You can also find breathing exercises on youtube to help yourself even more to experience the emotions that arise at that moment. The more deeply I experience the emotions that are blocked in my body through the breath, the more I free myself from the need to constantly need an inner or outer conflict to make that release. And we move on to the next tool that is part of all the previous ones.
Observation
Observation
Observation is a key element of self-awareness. This is a practice that is not particularly desirable in modern society as everything we do urges us to stop observing ourselves and constantly look outwards. But observation, and especially of myself, is necessary to understand what is happening to me, especially when there is an internal conflict like the one with the internal judge.
Observing will allow me to go deeper into how I feel, whether I feel (very often I don’t feel that I don’t feel, it is the result of trauma or accumulated traumas and is called “disassociation”, i.e. I disidentify from the body so that I don’t feel, of course it usually happens to avoid pain) and what I need to get back into balance. But dry observation is cold. Without the warmth of love as an intention it will simply function mechanically, perhaps creating an even deeper rift. And that brings us to the key to self-healing.
Self-compassion
Self-compassion
It is difficult to go far in self-healing without compassion. Compassion for self as well as for others, because often only one of the two happens and this again leads to some form of imbalance. I cannot sympathize only with myself and not others, nor can I sympathize only with others and not with myself. Is the sympathy total or there is some form of distortion or lack of truth. The power of love leads to compassion inevitably. Both of them together are the superpowers that can transform the whole world. Because they contain the potential of forgiveness. The more I circle around the same issues in my life, the more I prevent the new, the new, the true, from appearing as prospects for a new transformative life experience. With the power of love, forgiveness, compassion, emotion and observation, I can gradually begin to shift awareness and invite more joy and flow into my life. So whenever my inner judge shows up I can practice accepting, forgiving, and giving him the space he needs to express whatever feelings he’s been holding inside since he was a little kid…with deep long breaths and an understanding that everything that he does, he does them for my good, the good, our good, the good of all of us…. To find meditations and breathing you can visit our youtube page! With support and love, Marianna
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